8) Wines & Fizz
Who reads the descriptions anyway?
Pretend to read through knowingly, look at the prices and then just choose the second cheapest. Dinky 125ml measures available on request, it’s the law y’know.
Le Fizzle
San Marco Prosecco Extra Dry £5 (125ml glass), £25 Bottle
Less expensive, Italian bubbles
Moutard Brut Grande Cuvee, Champagne £40 Bottle
More expensive, French bubbles
Blankety-Blanc
Novita Trebbiano Rubicone £4.20 (175ml) £5.50 (250ml), £16.00 bottle
Italian crisp, light and breezy, think Pacino in one of his romantic comedies where he could smell women from a mile off
Domaine des Pourthié, Chardonnay £4.80, £6.20, £18.00
Lovely lingering mouth feel, like french kissing Vanessa Paradis on the riverbank of the Seine, but quite a few years after she sang Jo Le Taxi
Faultline Sauvignon Blanc £5.20, £6.80, £19.00
Grassy, sassy New Zealand Sauvignon all prickly and cheeky like a Maori child sat on a school bus flipping you the Vs
Pinky-Blush
Sacchetto, Pinot Grigio Blush Di Venezie £4.50, £5.80, £16.00 bottle
Little Miss Sunshine, superfreaking and ripping her kit off, everyone on stage and join in
Rooojey-Red
Saddle Creek Shiraz Cabernet £4.20, £5.50, £16.00
Madonna in her teens would have liked this fruity number and it may have inspired her later to write the ironic hit Like a Virgin.
Michel Torino, Coleccion Pinot Noir £4.80, £6.20, £18.00
A lot of Brits have a problem with Argentina, not us, we think they are pretty cool although they could have a fairer system of government and perhaps stop banging on about the Falklands.
Ondarre, Rioja Crianza 'Rivallana' £5.20, £6.80, £19.00
You’ve just moved into your new apartment, out of milk and late in the night, you ring the doorbell of a neighbour to ask if they have enough for a cup of tea. Blow me down with a feather, it’s only Tina from Coronation Street and she has more than a full pint spare so you can also have some on your cornflakes in the morning. Hopefully round at Tinas!
A polypin is a volume of beer equal to half a firkin or 36 pints. A Polly-vin is a unit of volume of wine equal to a third of a bottle or 250ml